I don't get the whole "kool-aid" comment that someone left on my last blog. The reason i can say all of the things i do with 100% certainty, is because i have lived it for thirty four years. There is no book, manual,etc. that these things come from. I beleive my life experience is much more valid and certain than anything i could ever read or be taught.
I am also hearing people saying that they know addicts who come from loving, non-abusive homes. That just does not hapen people!! Addiction does not happen in a vaccum. Though it may not be blatant abuse, as mine was, it is still abuse. Just because you don't have a black eye or a broken arm, does not mean it is not abuse. But, i also understand that not every child who was abused grows up to be an addict. I am the youngest of five girls and i am the only drug addict, but i have one sister who is a religious fanatic, one who is a control freak and alcoholic, one who is so far in denial about anything and everything, that she has no idea who she is, and one sister who has had it just as bad as the rest of us, but for years has saught out the truth and asked questions and is doing everything in her power to heal, and she has done a hell of a good job! My point in all of this is that abuse manifests itself in many different forms, but since the addict in the family is the one with the most visible signs of abuse, everyone can point their fingers at them, as if they are the families main problem.
I took a class called "Life Skills" a little over a month ago, and one of the things we were taught is that there are 21 different kinds of abuse, and we as a society are used to being so dysfunctional and abusive, that more than half of these, an average person would not even recognize it as such. I think that most people truly beleive that if its not blatant physical, verbal or emotional or sexual abuse, that they come from a good loving family, and that is just not the case.
If anyone out there would like to see a copy of the 21 different kinds of abuse, and their definitions, i would love to share them, because i know it was certainly eye opening for me.