Thursday, March 18, 2010

Frustration

I seriously don't even know where to begin. So, here goes..........

I have been reading all of these blogs from parents of addicts who are completely freakin clueless! Let me just tell you, as i have been in active addiction for twenty years, i have learned a few things, and these are things i know with 100% certainty to be true!

Addiction does not happen to a perfectly healthy person who has been raised in a loving, accepting, non-judgemental enviornment. No matter how much "peer pressure" one faces. If you take a child who has been raised in a healthy and loving enviornment and offer them drugs, they will not want to try them or take them, because they feel comfortable and confident in who they are and they do not need to try and escape the pain and misery, because there is none.

I hear these parents saying, "Well we don't know what happened, we raised him right and he just chose to be a drug addict. This is BS people!!!

I don't beleive any child sits around and says"I want to be a drug addict when i grow up." I know this because that is certainly not the life i had dreamed of as a child, and would be willing to bet that other addicts feel the same way.

Addiction is the symptom, not the core issue, of something much greater. When i hear these parents say, "Well, it's their choice." It infuriates me! To me that is like saying someone chooses to have cancer, or diabetes, heart disease, etc. Addiction is a disease, i did not CHOOSE this for myself!

Another thing i have heard several times is that the addict just needs to learn to say no! Well, isn't that a brilliant idea?!! I can't beleive someone didn't think of this earlier! Come on people!! Don't you think if it was just a simple matter of being able to say no that the majority of all addicts would get clean and stay clean?!

I have been soooo dope sick, trying to have the "will power" to get and stay clean, trying with every morsel of my being to not do another shot of dope because i know it will only make me sicker, yet, as i sit there sobbing heavily with a needle in my arm, i also know that it is the only thing that will make me well. Don't you dare tell me that i have chosen this!!

Only now after 20 years of addiction have i gotten the correct information i need to start making real and long lasting changes. All the times i have tried getting clean before, i have not had proper information so therefore have continued to relapse. I like to describe it as trying to get to California with a road map to Kentucky, no matter how hard, or how many times you try, you will never get there. But once you get the correct map, you can begin your journey and reach your destination.

Food for thought:

You cannot stay clean in the same enviornment you stayed high.

Addiction is a family disease, if the addict gets help and the family does not, chances are the addict WILL relapse when put back in the same enviornment. The addict alone is not the entire problem, quit putting all the blame for everyones misery on the addict, and take a long, hard look in the mirror.

5 comments:

  1. wow. I like the new picture. I am glad you are blogging. People do need a better understanding of addiction from the addicts point of view, imo.
    For some reason, it is a point of veiw that seems really hard to come by. Much Love tonjia

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  2. I always learn a lot hearing from addicts themselves. I've known quite a few over the years and I do agree that its a disease some have, and some don't and that its a family disease that affects the entire family.

    But I don't think the family is necessarily part of the cause of a person choosing to use in the first place. I have to disagree with what you said here:

    "Addiction does not happen to a perfectly healthy person who has been raised in a loving, accepting, non-judgemental enviornment. No matter how much "peer pressure" one faces. If you take a child who has been raised in a healthy and loving enviornment and offer them drugs, they will not want to try them or take them, because they feel comfortable and confident in who they are and they do not need to try and escape the pain and misery, because there is none."

    I don't think anyone is raised in the perfect environment, but I know for a fact that many people who were raised in a "loving, accepting, non-judgmental environment" who chose to take drugs and the addiction within them took hold.

    There are families that have several children, all raised with the same love and acceptance but only one chooses to use drugs. There are families who are happy and loving and the child chooses to try drugs just to be "cool" or out of curiosity. There are many reasons a child (or adult) pops the first pill, or in my son's case, shoots the first spoonful.

    There are a lot of loving parents out here who blame themselves endlessly, live with daily guilt and work very hard to get to a place where they realize its NOT their fault their child is an addict. I'm sharing this mostly for them because after reading your post they may fall backwards in a tough climb to get out of the pit of self-blame.

    I do agree with you that coming from a difficult background is a factor, its probably rare for a child from an abusive or neglectful home to NOT choose drugs to numb the pain. Also there are some people that are clinically depressed or have other mental health issues (panic disorder, bi-polar, etc) and use drugs to self-medicate.

    I agree that no one chooses to be an addict. Its not a choice. But it is a choice to start using drugs in the first place and its a choice to stop. Please, please don't think I am saying that casually as if its easy to stop - I know, I really do know from having addicts in my life for over 30 years, that it is one of the hardest (maybe the very hardest) thing to do.

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  3. I just can't stand anyone who has the nerve to claim such "certainty" on such a complex matter. It would drive me NUTS to read the blogs of these parents you're mentioning here. How can anyone know "the answer" to such a thing that affects millions of people in millions of different ways? I hope they read this post of yours, it's really thorough and sharp :)

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  4. Propoquerian? you are reading a blog from someone who claims absolute certainty on such a complex matter....

    there are no answers. she is right/and she is wrong. not every family is dysfunctional. her and her sister have just drunk the kool-aid of a book, just like several million have drunk the kool-aid of suboxone being a 'cure-all' etc, et al, ad infinitum.

    this blog, as mine, is just an opinion.

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  5. oh. i forgot. they may have drunk the kool-aid,but if it works for them, great!! whatever works to keep someone off drugs is good with me.

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